28/01/17

Dear Izzy,

It’s been an eventful couple of weeks. January started off with two weeks of mock exams, which made for a really relaxing start to the new term. Trust me, having AS Level History and English exams on neighbouring days is a sure-fire recipe for stress, last minute cramming, and a lot of comfort eating. My revision mostly paid off though, apart from a bit of a disastrous result on the British module of history.

Since exams, I’ve entered a reading spree after having not read anything for a month or so. I’ve read Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451 and The Portrait of Dorian Grey this week, and liked all of them (Debating whether or not to do a proper review of them at some point, thoughts?) Today I’ve had a delivery of Day Four (the kind of sequel to The Three), The Burning World (actual sequel to Warm Bodies), and Black Panther: A Nation Under Our Feet (not a sequel at all). My book storage is getting more and more slapdash, first I had an actual bookcase, then I commandeered my bedside tables, now the beams in my room are being used as shelves. Luckily I still haven’t reached your level of hoarding where my floor is covered in precarious towers of to-be-read books.

A new discovery last week was that I need glasses. On one hand, my childhood dream of wearing glasses (probably because I was very jealous of your snazzy black and white hibiscus print frames) has come true. On the other hand, having to wear glasses all day every day to prevent my vision from deteriorating is not ideal. It’s been a long and weary process trying to choose some glasses because I am both indecisive and particular, leading my mother to be on the borderline of complete despair as I try on 1001 different pairs. I finally chose some yesterday, one black pair by Karen Millen and a tortoiseshell pair with dark pink by Tommy Hilfiger. I think my ever patient (but increasingly dejected, her exact quote is “I felt like smashing my head on a brick wall”) mother will sleep better tonight knowing this quest for the holy grail is over.

January has also been a month filled with birthdays, most of which I have failed to buy presents for because I am unorganised and moderately broke. For you, however, I have assembled a box of food and cosy things so you need to come stay with me at some point and pick it up.

copy-of-android-photos-042
Oh 2008, the time of pizza making birthday parties and my mum thinking that every photo should be in sepia – featuring me and you (the ultimate 8 year old dynamic duo) on the left hand side.

Hope your birthday was brilliant and beyond. Eat lots of cake, open lots of presents, and have a good time at the wild Frome house party. Love you loads and hope I’ll see you soon. Take care of yourself x

Netflix Originals (Part 1)

Netflix has a long list of advantages – there’s no ads, you can watch whatever you want whenever you wants, and now you can (finally) download shows and watch them offline. The only disadvantage; it allows me to indulge my procrastination by spending 90% of my time watching Netflix originals. Here’s a few of my favourite Netflix originals that I think you really should be watching

–  P.S This is all my real unpaid opinion, I have an audience of about 2 people, Netflix has an audience of about 75 million, don’t think they need to sponsor me to be honest. –

The Best Marvel Original – Luke Cage? Jessica Jones? Who knows, I’m indecisive.

I am a big marvel film fan and have recently started to read a couple of the comics so as soon as there’s a Marvel Netflix original, you know I’ll be watching it. I liked Daredevil but felt that the Fisk plotline was dragged on for way too long, and I didn’t really get into the whole ‘The Hand’ thing. Luke Cage however, was absolutely brilliant, with an incredibly talented cast, gripping plot and every so many shots that were masterpieces. I really can’t pick a favourite between Jessica Jones and Luke Cage, I loved both of them. Jessica Jones was dark, and you find yourself so invested in all of the characters. The one thing I’m sure of is that Claire Temple (Rosario Dawson) is incredible in all 3 shows.

Netflix Sensation – Stranger Things

If you’ve been on the internet in the last year then it’s highly unlikely that you haven’t heard about Stranger Things. Being born in 2000, I’m sure I missed most of the 80s references, but I love this show nonetheless. Not going to lie, it isn’t one of my can’t-live-without shows, but it was engaging, exciting and more than a little bit creepy. Please note though that if you watch this show and don’t love Barb, then I will judge you forever.

Best comedy – Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

There are a few really good Netflix comedy series (I enjoyed Master of None and loved Grace & Frankie) but my favourite has got to be Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. It’s uplifting, and funny and just a little bit silly. The main character is an eternal optimist who – whilst naive at times – always looks on the bright side. The show never gets gratingly cheerful though, because Kimmy’s bubbly personality is anchored back to earth by her more world-wise (but very eccentric) roommate and her perpetually ranting landlady.

Best Documentary – Chef’s Table

There is something so relaxing and beautiful about watching these chefs create some of the most ground-breaking meals in the world. The show perfectly balances biographies of incredibly talented chefs from all over the world with beautiful cinematography of their restaurants and signature dishes. I can’t say I’ve watched anywhere near all of the episodes but my favourite so far has got to be Season 2, Episode 1 – Grant Achatz.

Overall Favourite – Sense8

If you have Netflix then you need to be watching Sense8, a show with 8 different characters who are all telepathically linked. Now, you’ve got to stick with me here because I know some of you will read ‘telepathically linked’ and roll your eyes. What makes me love Sense8 so much is that every single character will be your favourite character. Unlike shows like Orange Is The New Black – where you have some characters whose stories you love and others where you could not care any less (Piper, I’m looking at you) – you want to know as much as you can about every single Sense8 character because they are all so incredibly well written. There was not a single moment where I thought, ‘Can we get back to someone else’s perspective now’ because each storyline is so cleverly crafted and each character so well rounded that they are all equally captivating. The only thing I’d say is do not start watching this show unless you have plenty of time to spare because once I started watching it, I couldn’t stop.

So there’s a little bit of a roundup of some of my favourite Netflix shows. Hope you’re all having a good start to 2017, and have time to treat yourself to something you enjoy, whether it be a good book, listening to some music or having a bit of a Netflix binge. Drink some water, cleanse your face, and eat your vegetables. Take care of yourself x

 

2016

Ah, 2016 – the year which seems to have been officially christened “The Hell Year”. It’s been a year of division – from Brexit to Trump, a year of tragedy – from the Orlando Shooting to the Nice bombing, a year that seems to have taken more than its fair share of people – from famous faces to the invisible masses who’ve lost their lives due to conflict or disease. It is so easy to look back at this year and feel only a sense of sadness and loss, to be so overwhelmed the disasters that we fail to see the times of hope and progress. It is in times like these that it is most important to treasure every moment of joy that you can find. Appreciate every bad joke that makes you laugh, cherish every time you make your friends smile, enjoy the simple pleasures of stepping on frosty grass or a really buttery piece of toast. It doesn’t matter how silly or little these things may seem, if they make you happy then hold onto them, instead of ending 2016 wrapped up in feelings of hopelessness and upset.

Looking back on my own year, yes there’s been times where I’ve cried, where I’ve felt angry and frustrated, where I’ve wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed and stay there until the world gets its shit together, but there’s also been so many good times. Just over a week ago I went into London with two of my friends. We threw ourselves around the Natural History Museum like kids in a candy store, we sat and had lunch and chatted and laughed, I watched In The Heights (again, and it was just as good as the first time). Sometimes its not big, dramatic, life-changing days which are most important, but just the happy moments which make you look back and smile. It’s sitting in a coffee shop talking about nothing for hours, it’s finishing a good book and instantly wanting to read it all over again, it’s the proud look on my brother’s face as he gave me my Christmas present. And I know that this is ridiculously sappy (I promise that the usual sarcasm will return soon), and I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to proofread it because if I do I’m sure to delete everything I’ve written, but I’m just trying to say that I hope everyone who reads this has at least a couple of moments that make this whole ‘Hell Year’ worthwhile.

It’s 11:47 now, my whole family has gone to sleep, my room is covered in revision cards and photos and sweets leftover from Christmas, and there’s something calm (if not slightly harrowing) about just sitting here writing this on my own, watching the final minutes of 2016 pass before my eyes. The year is drawing to a close, and all that’s left to say is that I hope that 2017 is a year of much less tragedy and much more joy, for each and every one of you. Think about the good things, hug someone you love, and see the new year in with a smile on your face. Take care of yourself x

My Go-To Disney Films

With Moana being released in 4 days, I figured I’d get in the Disney spirit and create a roundup of a few of my all-time favourite Disney films.

Beauty and the Beast

I sadly admit that I never saw Beauty and the Beast in full when I was little, but when I finally watched it a few months ago it became an instant favourite. The only problem is now spend all my time with the Gaston song stuck in my head.

Princess and the Frog

As though jazzy 1920s New Orleans music isn’t enough, Tiana is ambitious and motivated and inspires me to stop procrastinating (for about five minutes). Also, Prince Naveen.

Lilo and Stitch

Confession time, I cried 3 times watching this film. 3 separate times. True, I am an emotional mess who can break into tears at almost anything, but this film was just so perfect. Nani looking out for her sister and Stitch finding a family is almost sweet enough to give you toothache.

The Emperor’s New Groove

This is one of those Disney films which people haven’t seen and they really should. Yes, the premise (an emperor getting turned into a llama) might be a little bizarre but that’s the beauty of it. This is the Disney equivalent of the “I’m so random”phase which 12 year olds go through, but it honestly works so well. It’s sarcastic, silly, and heartfelt all in the right proportions and it never fails to make me laugh.

Hercules

The first time I watched Hercules was in the kids club on a cruiseship and the scene with the cutting of the threads of life scarred me for years. When I finally watched it again (and realised that it’s really not as terrifying as 5 year old me thought it was) I fell in love with everything about it. The songs are catchy, the humour is as dry as a desert, and the Muses are the dream team.


So there you have it, 5 Disney movies you should watch which aren’t Frozen. I also want to give an honourable mention to Tangled, Brother Bear (which is so very underrated) and the Jungle Book. Get a cosy blanket, make yourself a cuppa, and watch a good movie. Take care of yourself x

 

21/11/16

Dear Izzy,

Today has not been the greatest of days. Its been one of those days that you wake up with a sinking feeling in your stomach and an urge to curl into a ball and go back to bed forever. I have an EPQ introduction due in this week and I have no clue what I’m supposed to be writing, I feel completely lost about what I want to do in the future, and the constant rain and darkness really isn’t helping me feel less shitty. I really need a hug and a cup of tea.

Not everything’s sad though, I just had a really long bubble bath (probably should have done some work but procrastination was more appealing) and I finally got round to reading The Night Circus last week. I have never read a book where I have wanted to visit the setting so badly. The language she uses to describe everything is so pretty and I want to visit the circus so badly and I need to stop before I go full level 100 book nerd. Seeing as I’m seeing you Saturday (which I’m super looking forward to) I can lend it to you on the terms and conditions that you don’t lose it in your piles and piles of books. Oh another good thing is I bought new shampoo and conditioner and I like it a lot. The packaging is lovely, it wasn’t expensive and its natural, cruelty free and all that jazz (I’m gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down).

Everything is starting to get Christmassy and despite my inner curmudgeon (think the old man from Up), I can’t help but feel festive. The Salisbury christmas market has begun, I’ve broken out the berry toned lipsticks and everyone is wrapped up in scarves and hats and gloves. Don’t worry though, I’ve not completely lost my Bah Humbug attitude, I still scowl at anyone who feels the need to give me daily “countdown to christmas” updates – surprisingly enough, I am capable of maintaining an awareness of the date without being constantly reminded.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less of a sucky day and I’ll finally fix up my EPQ introduction so it’s no longer just a random jumble of words. I can’t wait to see you this weekend; give my love to your parents, drink some water and please clean your room – the book piles were bordering on a deathtrap the last time I visited you. Love you lots, take care of yourself x

Update: 20 minutes later whilst putting away laundry  I’ve just been stung by a wasp that was hiding on a pair of tights. Great.

It’s Not All Bad

As we approach the end of 2016, there’s seems to be a general consensus that it hasn’t been the best year. But I’m sure you’ve heard all the bad stuff so instead lets focus on some good news.

  1. Jackie Chan has finally won an Oscar after 200 films.
  2. Harriet Tubman is going to replace Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill.
  3. In India, more than 800,000 volunteers planted 50 million trees in 24 hours to help fight climate change.
  4. UK Toys R Us stores had a “quiet hour” so children with autism could enjoy Christmas shopping.
  5. A boy in the US (Dylan Duran) started bringing 2 lunches to school every day after he noticed one of his classmates didn’t have lunch money.
  6. Venus and Serena Williams are opening a resource center for those affected by gun violence in their hometown, Compton.
  7. Over $20,000 has been donated to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s name.
  8. A Harvard Psychologist says that dogs dream about how much they love their humans.
  9. Underwater imaging tech might help to improve the detection rate of breast cancer.
  10. The UN passed a declaration to help make sure that refugees receive all their human rights.
  11. Sri-Lanka has been declared Malaria free.
  12. A 12 year old girl (Emma Yang) has developed an app to help Alzheimer’s patients retain relationships with family and friends.
  13. Costa Rica has been powered by only renewable energy for more than 122 days in a row. They plan to become carbon neutral within the next 5 years.
  14. Ashton Heyes, and English village is working towards becoming the first carbon neutral community.
  15. Jaxon the pug has won a “Hometown Hero” award for noticing a sparking socket and ‘barking up a storm’ to gain his owner’s attention, preventing a severe house fire.

So there you go, 2016 may seem all bad but at least there’s some good news. Have a nice bubble bath, eat some vegetables, drink lots of water. Take care of yourself x


Read more about these good news stories here:

  1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jackie-chan-wins-oscar_us_582a2057e4b02d21bbca1bae
  2. http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/07/india-plants-50-million-trees-uttar-pradesh-reforestation/
  3. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/toys-r-us-open-stores-quiet-hour-accommodate-kids-autism/
  4. http://www.today.com/parents/her-son-asked-two-lunches-we-re-supposed-help-people-t104129
  5. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/tennis-star-sisters-unveil-resource-center-victims-gun-violence-compton/
  6. http://people.com/bodies/planned-parenthood-mike-pence-20000-donations/?xid=socialflow_facebook_peoplemag
  7. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/dogs-dream-much-love-humans-says-harvard-psychologist/
  8. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/breast-cancer-might-now-easier-underwater-imaging-tech/
  9. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/un-passes-declaration-finally-address-refugee-human-rights/
  10. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/sri-lanka-declared-malaria-free/
  11. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/12-year-old-made-first-app-alzheimers-patients/
  12. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/costa-rica-powered-renewable-energy-122-days/
  13. http://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/pug-receives-hometown-hero-award-saving-entire-family/

Conspiracy Theories

Anyone who knows me well could tell you that I am a bit of a conspiracy theory enthusiast. Halloween may be over, but to keep the spooky spirit alive, here’s a few of my favourite bizarre conspiracies.

Avril Lavigne’s Clone

Most people have heard of Avril Lavigne – the idol of every teen during their ’emo’ phase (think pop punk, heavy eyeliner, and a diagonal fringe) – but have you heard the conspiracy that she died in 2003? This theory emerged on a Brazilian fan page, and claimed that for the last 13 years, a woman named Melissa Vandella has been impersonating Avril Lavigne. Now, before you get incredibly invested in this theory, bear in mind that the creator has since come out and said that they made up this theory to prove that people on the internet will believe anything. They successfully proved their point, there has been a litany of videos presenting evidence for this theory and discussing which other celebrities might have been replaced by imposters.

The Moon Isn’t Real

Step aside ‘The moon landing was faked’, there’s a new conspiracy in town. Camerman and youtuber Crrow777 started the theory that the moon doesn’t exist at all, and has produced some spooky footage to prove it. The footage shows a ‘lunar wave’ (ripple) across the moon, which Crrow777 says is a regularly occurring glitch in the moon hologram. (At least, I think that’s what he’s saying, it’s a very confusing theory.) If this footage isn’t enough to persuade you, there’s more. Crrow777 has also said that since posting the footage several people in the know have come forward and told him that he’s right, and that the moon truly is a hologram. However, even people on the Flat Earth Society forums don’t seem to believe this theory; and they believe that the world is flat.

Donald Trump Can’t Read

Samantha Bee – host of  comedy US late night show ‘Full Frontal’- may have come up with my all time favourite conspiracy theory. She presents some pretty damning evidence that Trump can’t read, from the fact that he dictates his tweets to his hatred of teleprompters. When you think about it, it all adds up, the reason his debate answers are always a nonsensical mess is because he doesn’t have a clue what his debate prep notes say. Samantha Bee was just intending to mock all the Clinton conspiracies out there, but maybe she’s truly onto something?

So there you have it, 3 of the weirdest conspiracies I could find on the internet. Some runners up for this list included the theory that many world leaders are actually lizards, that Hillary Clinton is actually dead, and that the Earth is hollow. Drink lots of water, don’t procrastinate, talk to someone who you’ve lost touch with. Take care of yourself  x

 

 

 

Sources:
Apparently Avril Lavigne is dead and an imposter has been living her life
http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/607938/WATCH-Lunar-wave-which-cameraman-claims-proves-Moon-is-actually-a-HOLOGRAM
https://www.theflatearthsociety.org/forum/index.php?topic=65471.0
Samantha Bee put together damning evidence to ‘prove’ that Donald Trump can’t read

30/10/16

Dear Izzy,

Please don’t nag me for not posting anything in a very long time. I’m a mess and I can not manage to do anything consistently. I’m halfway through about 500 different projects instead of just finishing one of them. (I’m going to blame it on being a gemini rather than the fact I am just a very noncommittal person.)

Confession, I have spent all of today and all of yesterday in my pyjamas. They’re super comfortable and the concept of going back to school tomorrow has put me in such a sad state that I couldn’t face getting dressed. I actually l generally like sixth form (I sound almost as keen as you, someone please stop me) apart from the fact I have to get up at 6:45 every morning. Early mornings are awful, especially in the winter when you wake up and its dark, and cold, and I have no motivation at all to get out of bed. I will never support your horrific habit of waking up early in the morning by choice, I make it my life’s mission to spend as much time asleep as is humanly possible. Also, I only seem to be able to concentrate and get my work done after 9 o’clock, so 6:45 starts do not work well for me.

Speaking of work, I need to find a proper job because otherwise I’m going to be completely skint after buying everyone’s Christmas presents. I also need to figure out what I’m going to buy for everyone’s Christmas presents because you have weird taste and my mother is the most picky person I’ve ever met. Her only interests are cars, diamonds, and Hugh Jackman, none of which I can provide. Send me a list of books you like and I’ll pick some for your Christmas and birthday presents, although if your ‘to be read’ pile gets any bigger you might have to apply for planning permission. I still haven’t read anything on my to be read list, the only things I’ve read recently are Ms. Marvel comics, Handmaid’s tale (for English), and incredibly boring history essays. They could not have picked a more dispiriting set of books for the English A Level. Handmaid’s Tale is all about the oppression of women, A Streetcar Named Desire is filled with domestic abuse, and then Frankenstein, which I’ve never read but which is apparently just as dark. I think we must have a really morbid English department.

I ordered a load of university prospectuses (Keen I know, but I either plan or I panic) and I realised I don’t really have much of a clue about where I want to go or what I want to study. I was pretty set on studying psychology, but as much as I’d love to become a psychotherapist or forensic psychologist, I think the course might be all too sciency for me. The current university shortlist is Southampton, UCL, Queen Mary’s London and Bath (which would be very convenient for our shopping trips.) However, I’m incredibly indecisive so by tomorrow I’ll probably have decided that I don’t even want to go to uni and I’m going to be a nomadic sheep herder instead.

Right, I’m off to start sorting out all the thousands of books I need for tomorrow. Miss you lots, you need to come visit me so I can give you the tourist’s tour that I promised. Don’t procrastinate, get lots of sleep, and eat some vegetables. Love you lots, take care of yourself x

The Problem With the New £5 Note

On September 13th, the Bank Of England released the brand new £5 note. Brighter blue, smaller, and ‘polymerised’ it feels incredibly like monopoly money to me. My real problem with it, however, is the man on the front of it. Not only because of who that man is (Winston Churchill, No Hero of Mine) but the fact that he is a man. Previously our £5 notes featured Elizabeth Fry, a devout quaker who dedicated much of her life to improving conditions in prisons during the Victorian era. She was also the only woman featured on British currency.*

new-5-note

To me, it is beyond important to have women featured on our money. This currency is seen by everyone (bordering maybe a few ‘off the grid’ Bear Grylls wannabes). How many times have you looked at the faces on a bank note; waiting to pay in a queue, getting cash out of a cash machine, opening up Christmas cards and finding money inside. We are surrounded by these faces on a daily basis so to suggest that they have no significance or importance is, to me, ridiculous. Young girls will look at these notes and wonder why there are no women on them. Have women not done anything significant enough to be featured? Can women not achieve anything significant enough? This is not the kind of self doubt that I believe we should plant in children’s minds, where it will grow and grow as they get older, fuelled by textbooks which don’t feature female experts, a government which is less than 30% women, and an underrepresentation of women in senior management roles. It is not the banknotes alone which will damage the self-esteem of these girls, it is the banknotes in combination with all the other aspects of our society. If the whole of society seems to be subtly telling you that you will never be as significant or successful as a man, why would you bother trying to be?

I am aware, that sometime in 2017, Jane Austen will replace Darwin on the £10 note. But that only goes partway to fixing the problem. Jane Austen will be the 3rd woman to feature on British currency. Churchill is the 14th man to appear. It will be up to 14 months from now until the Austen £10 note is released and even then, there will be only one note featuring a woman to 3 featuring a man.

The second part of the problem is the lack of variety in the women being represented. Jane Austen is a novelist, Elizabeth Fry was a humanitarian, and Florence Nightingale (the 1st woman to appear on British currency) was in nursing. All these women work in stereotypically feminine careers. Their work is valid, important and inspirational, but featuring only their work fuels the stereotype that the only careers suitable for women are the arts, or work based around providing care. Prevalent in our society is an implicit bias for associating women with the arts and men with STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) fields. 50% of the men who have appeared on UK currency worked in STEM fields, compared to 0% of the women. The men who have been featured on British currency worked in a huge variety of fields, there have been architects, composers, writers, scientists, playwrights – the list goes on. This kind of variety is hugely important, as it provides the message to boys that whatever their interests are, they are worth pursuing. Why should this same message not be given to girls?  There are many noteworthy British women who have made huge advancements in STEM subjects. Rosalind Franklin – a scientist key to the understanding of DNA, Beatrice Shilling – an aeronautical engineer, Ada Lovelace – the 1st computer programmer. Research has shown that if women or girls have a female role model in a STEM field, they are more likely to pursue their interest in STEM fields. Exposing young girls to inspirational and innovate female scientists, mathematicians, engineers and technologists has the potential to inspire them to become inspirational and innovative themselves.

 

*Yes, I know that the Queen is also on the currency, but she wasn’t exactly chosen, if you don’t put the Queen on the money you can probably be beheaded for treason.

 

So there you have it, a little rant about the lack of women on our currency. Let me know what you think about the new fiver, do you like having it plasticised, do you think it’s important to have women featured on currency? Drink some water, get rid of clutter, eat your vegetables. Take care of yourself x

 

Sources
1.researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/SN01250/SN01250.pdf
2.https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Laurie_Rudman/publication/258181938_The_Influence_of_Female_Role_Models_on_Women’s_Implicit_Science_Cognitions/links/0f3175324b0199a40c000000.pdf
3.http://www.bankofengland.co.uk/BANKNOTES/Pages/characters/default.aspx

20/09/16

Dear Izzy,

Help me, I’m a complete mess. My tights have the biggest ladder you’ve ever seen in your life, I have not copied up half the notes I’m supposed to and all I want to do is build a blanket fort and live in it forever, avoiding all responsibilities.

On a lighter note, I managed to have a chat with a stranger (who also happens to be attractive and male) in my French class (oui oui, beret, croissant) today without passing out, vomiting, or saying nothing and just making finger guns at him as I slowly walk out of the room (all of these things were genuine possibilities considering my level of social awkwardness). When I say a chat, I actually mean he was put in a group with me by the teacher and we had to talk to each other about contemporary francophone musicians. Looking back on it, I don’t think it counts as a chat, but we did have a 30 second exchange about how his handwriting sucks and girls have nice handwriting. Titillating, I know, I’m surprised I didn’t get pregnant from such a saucy interaction. Anyway, the point is I am proud of myself for succeeding in talking to a stranger, I’m now one step closer to being a well-functioning human being. However, don’t worry, I’m not now some kind of social butterfly who’s going to leave you and find cool friends who get drunk and hang out at urban outfitters, I’m still an idiot who falls over in high heels (and in flats to be quite honest) and just wants to take naps all day.

I had a daydream (although it might have been an actual dream, I think I feel asleep momentarily) on the bus this morning where I made you the best birthday cake you could ever imagine, complete with glitter, and gave it to you even though it wasn’t your birthday. I’m not entirely sure what my subconscious was trying to get across with that one, if you have any suggestions then let me know.

I have realised today that I use brackets far too often when I’m writing and that I should really just cut out all the irrelevant nonsense I write in them (but I like adding little stupid side notes, so I shall continue to excessively parenthesize as long as I live).

Earlier today I was filled with dread when my English Lit teacher stated that we were going to spend the next month or so acting out A Streetcar Named Desire. Why on Earth English teachers seem to think acting is a “fun lesson” continues to elude me, seeing as our whole class audibly groaned when he said we’d have to act. I managed to make aggressive eye contact with the table when he was asking people to volunteer for particular roles, and have managed to avoid speaking parts entirely. I’m going to volunteer as stage manager or some other similar job where I can hide backstage and avoid the intense humiliation of putting on a New Orleans accent and acting out what my English teacher called a “sexy play”. However, no humiliation could ever compare to my other English teacher, who whilst explaining A Handmaid’s Tale to us, repeated the phrase “soft, sweaty, stroking teenage sex” a good 5 times. It was one of those moments in my life where I genuinely hoped the Earth would swallow me whole.

Anyway, there’s some eclectic updates on my life. My mum says hello, although she’s so stressed and tired at the minute that she forgot your name and referred to you as “my Asian friend whose mum is Suda” (Make that your new twitter bio?). Miss you lots and hope to see you soon. Stay away from mean boys, drink some water, and treat yourself to a nice lush bath bomb. Love you lots, take care of yourself x